Final book in a series of Depots throughout the State of Iowa
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Timothy Adams Joined: Sep-17-2016 |
 | Jan-06-2015 13:42 Spiderman | I read your comments and thought about what you said so, I changed Josie's age to 10 and put Henry as her younger brother. In addition to that I fixed it so it would be easier to read. See for your self. |
| Sep-17-2012 15:13 Spiderman | Thanks |
 | Sep-16-2012 14:37 Nina J. | Very "strange"!!! Lol.. Great book!! :) |
 | Aug-22-2012 12:55 Adeline Dowell | It's good so far, be careful to keep this book away from all of the typical "unexpected kid saves the world" books, but I don't think you'll have a problem with that. The only thing that threw me off a little is something that I think everyone has done (or something like this) before. PLEASE look back at the beginning of the first chapter! First Josie's aunt said "Josie, Henry, time for breakfast", then she said "Eat your dinner". Please choose just one! :) P.S. To me, it sounded like you told us that Josie was four years old...Is that true? Just making sure! |
 | Aug-22-2012 11:52 Matt | Very interesting, what you have written so far! Josie with her power to freeze people is a wonderful character. Write more. I want to know if they track her down. Suggestion: Let emalimabean proofread your book for spelling problems, since she offered to do so. |
 | Aug-21-2012 13:03 Stephanie Fu | I would recommend spaces after periods and other punctuation, and formatting advice. |
 | Aug-21-2012 09:35 emalimabean | I loved your descriptions of them. Would you like me to edit it for you and fix all the spelling mistakes? If you would, send the document to emalimabean@gmail.com |
| Aug-20-2012 15:09 Karai Silvergirl | Not bad, the description is a little . . . "save the world and destroy all evil forces." . . . impossible? Anyways, it's pretty good, just please put the text in paragraphs. (Sorry if you feel that I'm being overly critical, I'm not usually like this. Just in a bad mood today . . .) |
 | Aug-19-2012 17:55 smileyfacesrule%30 | WOW REALLY GOOD! |
