Depression cannot be explained, it’s impossible, even if two people with depression come together to talk about it. No one knows how to explain it properly but, if you get it you’ll know what it is straight away, it changes your whole perspective on life & in a way in the long run depression can sometimes be a good thing.
Sometimes it hits me out of nowhere and this
overwhelming sadness rushes over me. And I get discouraged and I get upset and I feel hopeless, sad and hurt. And once again, I feel numb to the world.
The overwhelming numbness of emptiness,
I don't exist, I am nothing, nobody, immaterial,
When I am consumed with this emptiness it brings the thoughts of self harm,
Cutting just to feel alive, is a relief, knowing that I still exist
There is no mask, I am open, bare and vulnerable,
My life feels only temporary
Everyday my life involves the experience's of an imploding self-destruction,
Avoidance and silence is what I know best, in protecting myself from my emotions..
My rage is always directed inward,
Anger you will never see, only smiles or tears,
I didn't ask for this illness, I didn't ask to be abused,
Courage, I have shown for years, I am tired,
If my parting is filled with tears,
Then take some time to remember the special things we once shared