I am me, there is really no other explanation. I write because I enjoy to, I play my flute because it relaxes me. Am I the best? No, of course not. Is my work good? Perhaps, but there is always room for improvement. I collect photography, my favorite is of nude women. I am perverted? Not in my eyes, but others seem to think so. I simply believe the female body is exquisitely beautiful.
I read all sorts of books. Too many some say, too quickly most say. One can never read too many books, nor can they read too quickly. I am beautiful? I believe that in my own way I am. I am beautiful in the eyes of my mother and my fiancée. I do not think that everyone must agree on that.
Do I have an ego? Sure, everyone does to a degree. Do I flaunt it or myself? No, at least I try not to. Do I think I am better than anyone? To a point, it’s human nature. Humans compare themselves to everyone and everything. It’s what we do. I am me. I try to be strong, I try to control my temper, I try to stay positive. Am I perfect? Hardly. Do I make mistakes? Everyday in some fashion. Will I admit it when I am wrong? Not always, but I do try to.
Can I say that I am guilty of all of the seven deadly sins? Let’s see. Do I experience lust? Yes, quiet often actually. Am I gluttonous? I tend to be at times. Am I greedy? With some things, but not all. I am greedy for kisses from my love, and for knowledge, just to name the two biggest things. Sloth? Yes, I am known to laze around now and again. Show me one person who doesn’t, and I will be impressed. Do I have a great wrath? I struggle with it everyday. I have one hell of a temper. Am I envious? Sometimes, but not usually or overly so. And lastly, Am I prideful? Yes I have my pride, and it has gotten me into trouble more than once.
Do I curse? Yes. Drink? I used to on occasion. Smoke? Yes, I enjoy smoking cigarettes. Do I do drugs? I can proudly say I don’t, nor will I ever. Has it taken me a long time to admit half of the thing in this little work? Yes it has. Am I going to put up with anyone talking down to me, if they mean it do be demeaning or not? No, I will stand up for myself. Do I have regrets? Yes, I do. Many in fact. Do I hate myself? At times. Do I lie? Yes, but nothing that would get me in major trouble. Just little white lies. And yes, I can actually say that and mean it.
I don’t have the best memory. I am quick to my temper. I am overly protective of my friends and loved ones. I tend to bottle things up until I either get sick, hurt someone, or completely lose myself in rage. I try hard to be mature. I have tried hard, and do so everyday to leave my childish ways behind. I do judge others, but only after they have shown me their true selves. Am I wary of others simply by looks? Sadly, yes. Sometimes I can’t help it.
I have stolen in the past, but I apologized for it. Have I lusted over people I cant have, or someone I am not with? Sure, who doesn’t? I have my shameful memories, and I have my good memories. I have my good days, and my bad. Do I try my hardest at all the things I should? Not really, and I hate myself for it. I have my faults, I recognize them, sometimes I try bloody hard to fix them.
I am not the best, but I am not the worst either. I am not widely loved, nor am I widely despised. I have just as many friends as I do enemies. I am socially awkward, and tend to keep to myself, but once I get myself into a good mood, I break away from my comfort zone a little.
I carry my burdens, and I deal with my problems the best way I know how. And yes, I will admit that I am a coward. But if you mess with someone I love, or you catch me the wrong way, you are going to know. Do I respect those that I should? Yes. I respect my elders, I respect those in higher power above me. I respect my friends and those who prove themselves to me. But they are a select few that I will never respect. Alcoholics, drug abusers, people abusers, these are people I will ever respect. If they ever clean up their act, I will reserve my judgment until I know they have truly changed.
I know I haven’t faced the worst of challenges, nor have I faced true hardship like others have. But I have been abused, I have lived paycheck to paycheck, I have struggled to find work, and borrowed money that I haven’t paid back. I struggle everyday with a disorder not many can truly say they have.
All of these things, my faults and my graces. They all make me who I am. And I have come to terms with that, and I am proud of the woman I am today. My name is Casey Marie Adams, and I am who I am.