"Why die...live forever!" The ads are plastered everywhere around town. You used to laugh at them. After all, they're aimed at the sick and dying, not you. Only...last month you were diagnosed with cancer. Suddenly the ads aren't all that funny. Before you know it you're sitting in a crowded waiting room, leafing through the same pamphlet for the 12th time. "A.L. (AfterLife) uses cutting edge technology in close partnership with the medical industry to keep your physical body alive while projecting your consciousness into a virtual computer-generated Utopia. For the first time in the history of mankind, we have found the cure for death. Why die...when you can live forever with A.L.!" Suddenly your name is called and you're being ushered to a back room for your consultation.
77claws is the pen name of a highly secretive weirdo from Portlandia who somehow made his way to the Ozarks. While few details about him can be verified, it has been rumored that he accidentally arrived here when his flatulence driven air-ship was shot down by narwhals who mistakenly believed he had stolen the fountain of youth. UPDATE! He did.