My name is Olga Hevardski. I am from Russia. I can't say where. But I can tell you this. Before I moved to America from Russia, terrorists from Venenzula came for my part of Russia. Some killed my family plus 20,000 more Russian citizens. Others held me captive and threatened to kill me. I had recognized one of which held me captive in a prison cell, or what we Russians call tyuremnyye kamery. He is an internationally wanted Venenzulan terrorist named Carlos the Jackal. He told me not to tell anyone where I lived in Russia, his reason I haven't a clue. So he let me free, once again, I haven't a clue why, and I moved to the place you Americans call Seattle. What Russians call Seattle, you may ask? Sietl. Interesting, huh? Carlos the Jackal is now in jail for killing a person. I have something to say to Carlos. Na na na na na! You're in jail, I'm in America, neiner neiner pumkin eater!
Olga Hevardski was born in Russia. Her parents died. She has a really famous quote:"I moved to America. I didn't feel safe in Russia." She almost got killed by an idiot Venenzulan terrorist in a jail cell. Seriously. But if I tell you where I lived in Russia, don't let Carlos the Jackal know that I told you. Okay? Okay. I lived in Oktyabrsk, Russia. So, there. I said it. Happy now? Good.
Let me just say that for the record I do speak fluent Russian. But another thing Carlos the Jackal told me was that I couldn't speak any Russian once he let me free of his jail cell. For whatever reason he told me that, once again, I haven't a clue. It's like he cursed me or something. I don't know. He probably did. And I don't care if he did or not. I was a professional author back in Russia. I wrote the books "A Day in the Life of Natasha" and "Who Let the Sobaki Out". Sobaki in Russian is dogs in English. It's a thing. Get used to it.